Best Jokes

Herman: Mother, can I change my name?

Mother: Why do you want to change your name?

Herman: Because Dad says that he’s going to spank me as sure as my name is Herman.

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of registration.

"He's a magician," said the new boy.

"How exciting. What's his best trick?"

"He saws people in half."

"How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yep...one half brother and two half sisters."

Yo Momma is so big...

When she steps on a digital scale it says: To be continued.

If Shaq were:

A banana - he’d be Shaquille O’Peel

A shade of blue green - he’d be Shaquille O’Teal

A criminal - he’d be Shaquille O’Steal

A poker player - he’d be Shaquille O’Deal

Overly emotional - he’d be Shaquille O’Feel

A doctor - he’d be Shaquille O’Heal