Best Jokes

It would be embarrassing trying to explain what an appetizer is to someone from a starving country.

“Yeah, the appetizer—that’s the food we eat before we have our food. No, no, you're thinking of dessert—that’s food we have after we have our food.”

Father: The man who marries my daughter gets a prize.

Suitor: Can I see the prize first?

Herman: Mother, can I change my name?

Mother: Why do you want to change your name?

Herman: Because Dad says that he’s going to spank me as sure as my name is Herman.

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of registration.

"He's a magician," said the new boy.

"How exciting. What's his best trick?"

"He saws people in half."

"How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yep...one half brother and two half sisters."