You want to hear a word I just made up ?
Magic Genie: I am a magic genie. I will grant you three wishes.
Me: Genie, I wish you were bad at math.
Magic Genie: Your wish is my command! Okay, you have nine wishes left.
What did the jealous storm trooper say to the friend who stole his girlfriend and was now going to marry her?
"May divorce be with you!"
"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"
"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."