Yo' momma is so stupid...
She tried to save a fish from drowning.
The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."
Meyer did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal, Moshe, kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook. Finally Moshe said, "You, dope, stop watching our overcoats."
"I'm only watching mine," replied Meyer. "Yours has been gone for over half an hour."
I believe scissors ought to come in packaging that doesn't require scissors to start with.
Teacher: "Can anyone tell me where the toothbrush was invented?"
Little Johnny: "In Kentucky. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush."