Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Tourist: "Say, look at that big bunch of buffaloes."
Ranch Hand: "Not 'bunch' -- 'herd.'"
Tourist: "Heard what?"
Ranch Hand: "Herd of buffaloes."
Tourist: "Sure, I've heard of buffaloes. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there."
I was teaching my Grade 1 class to tell time using a conventional analog clock. "We'll be learning about the hour hand and the minute hand," I explained.
One of the students interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on that kind of clock. My dad bought me this digital watch, and right now it's ten minutes to 38."