Best Jokes

Actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

* A speed limit sign: "Smile, You're on Radar!"

* Seen in a State Park: (A large sign with a rock hanging on a rope) "Weather Station: Check the rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

* Notice in a field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."

* Sign seen in a small restaurant: "Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law."

My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas.

The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't.

"Well," she replied, "the one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic."

Q: What do u call a midget psychic on the run from the law?

A: A small medium at large.

Question: Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick?

Answer: The pharmacist.