Best Jokes

My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas.

The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't.

"Well," she replied, "the one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic."

Q: What do u call a midget psychic on the run from the law?

A: A small medium at large.

Question: Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick?

Answer: The pharmacist.

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness. “Isn’t it true,“ he began, “that you were given $5000.00 to throw this case?”

The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction, the same no response. Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”

“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I'm sorry your honor. I thought he was talking to you.”