How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who wants to know?!?!
An actress who suffered from an inferiority complex was complaining to her psychiatrist. "I'm a nothing!" she cried. "I can't sing. I can't remember my lines. I can't dance, I can't even act. I really don't belong in show business."
"Why don't you quit?" the doctor asked.
"I can't," moaned the actress. "I'm a Star!"
What are the two reasons why babies wear diapers?
Number 1 and Number 2!
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She called Four Horse."
The man said, "That is an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?"
The old Indian answered, "It old Indian name. It mean, Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag!"