Best Jokes

$5.00 won 8 votes

At a psychiatrist's office:
- Do you consume alcohol?
- No.
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you use drugs?
- No.
- Do you play cards?
- No.
- Do you run after other women?
- No.
- So why did you come to me?
- You see, doc, I have one little problem... I lie a lot.

8 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "mlr9" |
$25.00 won 8 votes

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...

He had selfie steam issues.

8 votes

posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$9.00 won 8 votes

The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”

“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.

“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”

“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

8 votes

posted by "Chloe2015" |
$25.00 won 8 votes

My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”

8 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |