At a psychiatrist's office:
- Do you consume alcohol?
- Do you smoke?
- Do you use drugs?
- Do you play cards?
- Do you run after other women?
- So why did you come to me?
- You see, doc, I have one little problem... I lie a lot.
The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”
“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.
“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”
“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”