Best Jokes

I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation system said:

"IN 400 FEET, DO A SLIGHT RIGHT, STOP, AND LET ME OUT."

"How much does it cost to buy a large singing group?"

“A choir?”

"Okay, fine... how much does it cost to 'acquire' a large singing group?"

At a psychiatrist's office:
- Do you consume alcohol?
- No.
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you use drugs?
- No.
- Do you play cards?
- No.
- Do you run after other women?
- No.
- So why did you come to me?
- You see, doc, I have one little problem... I lie a lot.

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...

He had selfie steam issues.