Best Jokes

A man was telling his friend that on one of his previous trip to New York City he parked the car to go get some coffee. When he returned someone had stolen all the hubcaps off the car.

So before he went to get a cup of coffee on his next trip to NYC, he put a sign on the windshield saying the hubcaps are registered, and therefore, cannot be sold.

His friend asks, “So, what happened when you came back, were the hubcaps there?”

The man says, “Yeah, all the hubcaps were there, but the car was gone.”

Major Regrets I've Had In 2023:

Spending $250 on that Aaron Rogers Jets jersey.

Buying Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner an early anniversary gift.

Operating a mud bath booth at Burning Man.

Making that World Series bet on the Oakland A's.

Billy: Being a kid is tough. Parents hold mistakes over your head forever. This Friday I can’t go to the movies because I made a simple mistake a long time ago.

Bobby: What did you do?

Billy: I put the hose in my sister’s window and turned it on.

Bobby: That’s a pretty big mistake, when did you do that?

Billy: Wednesday.

I had just become a Second lieutenant in The Marines when my mother and I were walking toward the Iwo Jima monument. We were about to cross the street when a truck was coming toward us. We jumped back out of the way.

The driver, a USMC Gunny Sergeant slowed down, leaned out the window, saluted and told mother, "Don't worry, I wouldn't hit an officer -- there's too much paperwork in it."