Best Jokes

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked.

"I reckon so," replied the farmer.

The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!"

"Well, golly," said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"

What is a bargain shopper's favorite movie?


Goodwill Hunting.

A three year old and her mother were watching Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs for the first time.

The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old lady selling apples, and this little child was spellbound. Then Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the ground unconscious.

As the apple rolled away, the girl spoke up, "See, Mom, she doesn't like the skin either."

Jill: What took you so long?

Jack: I was parking the car!

Jill: How long does it take to park a car?!

Jack: I kept driving around looking for an empty space, but I couldn't find one. As for the parking lots, their prices are outlandish! Finally, I found one place to park where the price was reasonable.

Jill: Where was that?

Jack: In a drive-in theater.