Best Jokes

To make sure I won't be late for work, my girlfriend calls me on the phone every morning to wake me up.

Wouldn't it be easier for her to just lean over, start shaking me, and yell, 'HEY! WAKE UP!'?

Just heard on the news that Uber is testing new driver-less cars...

Not sure where they are heading, but I am afraid they are gonna drive us crazy!

At the gym, a hole was found in the wall of the women's changing room....

Police are looking into it!

A couple go to a marriage counselor. The husband barely sits down before rattling off a long list of things his wife needs to improve on.

The counselor replied, "Wow, that's quite a long list. How about you ma'am, do you also have a long list of complaints?"

"Nope," she answered, "I only have one complaint."

"What might that be?"

"He lies!"