Best Jokes

"Teacher" was giving her class a little weekly talk on painting, illustrated by reproductions of famous pictures. "Sir Joshua Reynolds," she said, "was able to change a smiling face into a frowning one with a single stroke of the brush."

"Huh," little Johnny was heard to mutter, "my maw can do that, and she don't need no paint brush!"

The swordfish has few predators in the wild.

Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier.

I accidentally sat on my phone...

Siri suggested several local gyms.

I went to an outdoor restaurant earlier, and it started to rain...

Took me 3 hours to finish my soup!