Best Jokes

Blowing Your Buffer - Losing your train of thought.

Career-Limiting Move (CLM) - Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops all over everything, and then leaves.

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's...

She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me.

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays.

So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.