Harold comes home from work one day. "I'm home, honey!" he says to his wife Joan. "You can serve the salad."
Joan tilts her head curiously. "How did you know we were having salad, dear?"
Harold replies, "I didn't smell anything burning."
Little Penny sees Little Millie coming back from girl scouts with several new badges.
Penny: "Say, what didja get that badge for?"
Millie: "For singing."
Penny: "Ooh, nice! And what didja get that badge for?"
Millie: "For not singing anymore."
Psychiatrist: "I have good news, Mr. Branson, after our sessions together, I've discovered that you absolutely do not have an inferiority complex."
Mr. Branson: "Oh, that's wonderful, doc! How did you find out?"
Psychiatrist: "I've come to the conclusion that you, are actually inferior."
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.