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Favorite this joke A thief got married to a thief. They decided to give up their old ways and begin a family.
Fifteen months after getting married, they were expecting a son. At the hospital their son was born and his hand was closed.
They went for a closer look. They opened up his hand and were surprised by what they found.
The wristwatch of the doctor who delivered him.
The famous pop singer Chloe Sweetsong is signing autographs outside the local concert hall of a small town when a little girl approaches her with an autograph book.
"Miss Sweetsong," the girl says. "May I have your autograph, please?"
Noticing that the girl looks familiar, Chloe says, "But haven't I signed your book before?"
"Yes," the girl replies. "But when I get ten of your autographs, I can get one of Taylor Swift's."
Janice, my sister, had been pestering her husband, a carpenter, for more than a decade to build a screen door for the kitchen.
One day, to her delight, he built and installed one in less than two hours. It was both practical and pretty. She glanced towards the front door and wistfully remarked that one would look good there, as well.
"Are you kidding?" he gasped. "You can't just whip these things up, you know. It takes ten years to build a door like this."
Dentist: "This will hurt a little."
Patient: "Okay."
Dentist: "I've been sleeping with your wife for a year now."
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