Best Jokes

1 votes
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Jake: If you were in a line at a ticket window, and the man in front of you was going to Chicago and the money lady behind you was going to Atlanta, where would you be going?

Fran: I don’t know.

Jake: If you don’t know where you are going, why are you in line?

1 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |
1 votes

A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise, so he decided to play tennis. After a couple of weeks, his administrative assistant asked him how he was doing.

"It's going fine," the manager said. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says, "To the corner! Backhand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

"Really? What happens then?" the woman asked enthusiastically.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!'"

1 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes
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In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.

An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked.

"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

During the first day of Navy Boot Camp, the lieutenant in charge had a stack of cards with each person’s name on it. He said, “When I read off your name, I want you to step forward, say 'Here, sir', then salute me, and then get back to where you were!”

Lieutenant: “Andrews!”

Andrews: “Here, sir!”

Lieutenant: “Cooper!”

Cooper: “Here, sir!”

Lieutenant: “Seeback!” (No response) “Seeback! (Still no response) “I said Seeback!”

The admiral next to him whispers something in his ear. The lieutenant then turns the card over and says: “Lodge!”

Lodge: “Here, sir!”

1 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |