Best Jokes

A policeman is praying at a church when a priest comes to him.

Priest: “Tell me son, who killed Abel?’

Policeman: “I'm sorry Father, but you'll have to ask the detective in charge of this Abel's murder case.”

Have you ever wondered why older men usually lift they’re pant cuffs before slowly taking a seat?

Now that I’m older I’ve solved this age old mystery. It’s a matter of physics really and can be easily explained in scientific terms.

Let’s put it this way, due to the effect of iron magma spinning in the earth’s core creating gravitational property metrics change over time affects the dynamics between the physiological union in relation to the nomenclature of a seating devices.

This phenomenon reassigns the trajectories positional relationship rendering the elder human males posterior anatomy contact arrival with the seating device surface in what can be described as close race but nevertheless in second place.

I ran away from the hospital, it was time to go. My friend asked me, "Why did you run away from the hospital, right before the surgery?"

"I was scared," I replied.

"Why?"

"The nurse kept saying, 'Don't worry, be courageous, it is only a small operation, nothing will happen, it will take hardly 30 minutes, and so on."

"The nurse was right, she was encouraging you, that's all," replied my friend.

"Nonsense!" I began, "She was not talking to me, she was talking to the doctor!"