Best Jokes

1 votes

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."

"Is that a record?" she inquired.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

1 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "wadejagz" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

I got my wife a metal detector as a present, but she didn't like it.

Strange, as she always likes to dig up things from the past.

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$50.00 won 1 votes
 

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE ZS

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

1 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

The schoolteacher asked her class of young children to name one thing that was needed at their home.

“Jim?”

“A Nintendo Wii!”

“Very good, Jim. How about you, Ann?”

"A Super Barbie doll’s house,” said Ann.

“That sounds nice, Ann. Little Johnny?”

Little Johnny remained silent.

“Surely there must be something you can think of, Little Johnny?”

“No, nothing.”

“Really, Little Johnny? You do surprise me.”

“I know it’s true for a fact,” insisted Little Johnny. “Because last week my dad came home drunk, was sick all over the carpet, and my mom said it was the last thing we needed.”

1 votes