A CEO would always schedule weekly meetings at 4:30 PM every Friday. The co-workers always complained about it until one finally got courage to ask his boss, “Why do you put the meetings at Friday 4:30?”
“Because it’s the only time you guys don’t argue with me.”
A student burst into his professor’s office and says, "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this 'F' grade that you've given me!"
To which Professor Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry, no time.”
Two guys are driving in the countryside. One says, "Tiger Wood... isn't he famous or something?"
"Yeah, I think he plays golf or something."
"Does he have a brother named Fire who's in jail?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"I just saw a sign that said 'FREE FIRE WOOD!'"