Best Jokes

When hiring new staff at her public library, my daughter always asks the applicants what sort of supervision they’d be most comfortable with.

One genius answered, “I’ve always thought Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.”

I’m gonna eat Henry.
I’m gonna eat Phil.
I’m gonna eat Debbie.
I’m gonna eat Jill.
I’m gonna eat Tommy.
And Sue, no surprise.

Is it weird that I like to name all my french fries?

There's a band called 1023 Megabytes... they haven't had a gig yet.

“Grandpa, do you mind if I play my new harmonica in here?” asked little Phil.

“Of course not, Phil. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life."

“What happened?” asked Phil.

"Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely.”

“How about you?”

“Me? Well, I accompanied her on the piano!”