Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, "Today we have lobster tales for 50 cents."
He said, "I'll take a dozen!"
She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, "Are you ready for your first tale?"
He assured her he couldn't wait. Then she began... "Once upon a time there was this little lobster....."
A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order.
"Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her traditional parents and they were appalled by his appearance... leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The trucker motioned for Ron to pull over. When he did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told Ron to stand in the circle and not move. He then went to Ron's new car and cut up the leather seats. When the truck driver turned around Ron had a slight grin on his face.
"Oh, you think that's funny?" the trucker asked, "Watch this." He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in the car. When he turned and looked Ron had a smile on his face. This drove the driver into a rage. He got his knife back out and sliced all the tires. Now Ron was laughing. The truck driver really started to lose it. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on the sports car and set it on fire. He turned around and Ron was laughing so hard he almost fell down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked him.
Ron replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle four times."
Free Daily Joke