Best Jokes

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room, who had been watching her, said in amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"

The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane."

Two old friends met by chance on the street.

After chatting for some time one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me".

The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"

A woman goes to her doctor. She has a breadstick up her nose, a potato in her right ear and string bean in her left ear.

She says, "Doctor, can you help me? I don't feel well, and I cannot figure out what's wrong."

The doctor replies; "Well, you are clearly not eating properly."

On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the classroom asked, "How will that help?"