Best Jokes

When I was in elementary school, I learned about exaggeration.

I had like ten thousand tests on it and my teacher would kill me if I didn't spell it right.

Teacher: When does three come before two?

Student: In the dictionary!

There was a monkey sitting in a banana tree. He was very hungry. He knew that somewhere in the tree there was a magic banana, and that once he ate that banana, he wouldn't be hungry anymore.

He ate one banana. That wasn't it. He was still hungry. He ate another banana. That wasn't it either. He was still hungry.

Finally, after he ate his tenth banana, he wasn't hungry anymore. "I knew I'd find it," he said. "It's too bad that I didn't eat that one first. I wouldn't have to waste all those other bananas."

Last night, I spent 5,000 bucks on a reincarnation seminar...

I figured, "What the heck, you only live once!"