Best Jokes

When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”

I said, “No, not particularly."

An English boy came home from school to hear the family parrot say, "Liam never does his homework."

Liam: "Who told you that?"

Polly looked the other way and said nothing..

Liam: "So, mum's the word eh."

Polly: "Oh man, don't tell Mum I told you."

Two sharks are swimming along in the ocean when they spot a windsurfer.

“Ooh, look, a snack!” cheers up the first one.

The second one nods appreciatively, “And on a nice little plate with even a napkin!"

A new survey shows that 60% of men under the age of 30 don't own a suit...

Then again, those of us over 30 that have a suit don't know if they still fit.