Best Jokes

$8.00 won 2 votes

A scientist, wishing to test out the theory that music had tones to sooth the savage beast, takes a plane trip to Africa. Sitting on a rock in the middle of the jungle, he begins to play classical music on a small violin. Almost immediately, a large collection of animals, lions, monkeys, elephants, zebras, rhinos, birds, leopards and the like, begin gathering around and swaying happily to the music.

Suddenly, a crocodile ambles out of the water, leaps at the scientist and catches him on the throat with its mouth, causing him to pass out from the shock. The other animals glare at the crocodile disapprovingly. "What did you do that for?" a leopard demands. "We were enjoying that."

The crocodile looks up at the group of animals and says, "I don't know about you folks, but Stravinsky's Petrushka leaves me cold."

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
2 votes

What do French people call marijuana?

Oui'd.

2 votes

posted by "nerdasaurus" |
2 votes

What's the difference between an elephant and spaghetti?

Elephants don't slip off the end of your fork.

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

An extremely vain sorceress zoomed into the local dollar store on her broom, fuming from head-to-toe. “Which one of you morons is responsible for putting my name on your product without my permission? I’m going to turn you into a toad!”

A shuddering young clerk bravely came forward— “I’m extremely sorry ma'am; I honestly thought Witch Hazel was an approved product.”

“You idiot,” screamed the hag. “I’m talking about the Barbie doll!”

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Wano U" |