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Favorite this joke Pete lived back in the days of the wild west. He wore brown paper exclusively. Brown paper pants, shirt, vest, boots. Everything was made from brown paper.
He rode into town on a hot dry day, very near parched from thirst. He rode up to the saloon to get a cool drink, stepped off his horse, and up on the sidewalk and was promptly arrested by the sheriff.
He was charged with rustlin'.
I thought there was something wrong with my pedometer app.
It thought there was something wrong with me.
It asked me if I had died.
She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast.
He walks in and she says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
He says, "What's going on?"
She says, "The egg timer is broken."
The meal in the restaurant was awful. The diner asked to see the manager. When the manager came, the diner said, “I want to compliment you on your very clean kitchen.”
“Clean kitchen?” the manager asked. “Have you seen our kitchen?”
“No,” the diner replied. “But it must be clean because all the food tastes like soap.”
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