Best Jokes

What is a web developer's favourite tea?

URL Grey.

Forget about the past, you can’t change it.

Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.

Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OH! Styling gel, Mousse, Something...?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, You still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation system said:

"IN 400 FEET, DO A SLIGHT RIGHT, STOP, AND LET ME OUT."