Best Jokes

Doctor: "I have your MRI results."

Patient: "Is my brain functioning normal?"

Doctor: "No. Half your brain is clogged with usernames and the other half is clogged with passwords.

I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

"Hard drive?" he asked.

"No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop."

I tried cooking with wine for the first time.

After five glasses, I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest..

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."