Best Jokes

Young Maiden: "Yes, I've been asked many times to get married."

Friend: "Really, who's asked you?"

Young Maiden: "My mother and father."

Uncle Jack drove up to the drug store in high distress. He stamped into the store, talking to himself.

"Are you the fresh young fellow that sold me this this stuff yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?" Uncle Jack inquired of the clerk.

"Yes sir," replied the clerk.

"Well, this morning I tried for half and hour, and I'll be darned if it would make my teeth stick in!"

I had the rudest, slowest, and nastiest cashier today...

That’s the last time I use the self checkout lane!

I decided to do research on my ancestry and went to a genealogy professional.

First question: "Have you any poor relations?"

"Not any that I know."

Second question: "Have you any rich relations?"

"Not any that know me."