Sunday School Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today's motto, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Little Johnny: "Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business."
Teacher: "Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?"
Little Johnny: "He's a boxer."
An inmate at the local detention center was sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another inmate was watching. Finally the kibitzer spoke up, "Wait a minute. I just caught you cheating yourself."
"Shhh! Don't tell anybody but for years I've been cheating at solitaire. "
"You don't say! Did you ever catch yourself cheating,?"
"Nah, I'm too clever."