Best Jokes

Yo momma so old, her birth certificate says expired on it.

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

"So how was it?" His mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and daddy have a good time?" Asked his mother.

"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

If you love someone, set him free.

If he comes back, I think we can charge him for re-installation fees, but tell him that he's getting an upgrade.

Memory Class: An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor? " asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered.

"You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose? " asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man.

He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"