Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.
After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replies Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me."
"WHAT?" exclaims Jeff. "You just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack?"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.
"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'Are you Steve's widow?'
'Widow?' she said, 'No, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'
So I said, "I'll bet you a six-pack you are."
A novelty store owner called a recent customer. "Mr. Jones? This is Mr. Peters, the owner of Peter's Novelties. Remember that boomerang you bought the other day? You paid for your purchase with a check, and unfortunately the check came back."
"You're lucky," replied the customer. "My boomerang didn't."
Nuts are so expensive these days...
Nearly cost you an almond a leg.
The lovers wore the exact same shoes...
Naturally, they were solemates.