Best Jokes

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... It's impossible to put down.

I tend to avoid funerals...

... I'm just not a mourning person.

After much convincing from her husband, Tammy finally agreed to call an old family friend to sing her happy birthday. It was only after she finished singing, that the voice at the other end of the line informed her that it was the wrong number.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said, embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” the voice said, “you need all the practice you can get!”

My boss told me yesterday, “Ken, you shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”

But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostbuster's clothing, she said I was fired.