Best Jokes

One woman married and had 6 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 3 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 4 more children.

At last, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking Him, for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply." In his eulogy, the preacher said, "Lord, they're finally together."

Leaning over to a neighbor, one mourner quietly asked, "Is he referring to her first, second or third husband?"

The neighbor replied, "I think he's referring to her legs."

After much searching and research, I have found the meaning of life. It's in between lies and lift in the dictionary.

The Three Bears were about to enjoy breakfast together as usual when they were interrupted by a terrible ROAARR outside their humble cottage. Immediately, the door came crashing in and this huge ugly, fierce looking bear stood in their midst!

Without hesitation, the monster slurped up Papa Bear's porridge, then Mama Bear's, finally licking every morsel from Baby Bear's little bowl.

Suddenly, the intruder produced a pistol and fired several shots through the cottage roof! Where upon the furry animal walked calmly out the open door and disappeared into the forest.

WHAT WAS THAT? exclaimed Papa Bear.

I HAVE NO IDEA! said Mama Bear.

I Think it was a Koala Bear said Baby Bear.

Oh, no, Son, insisted Mama and Papa Bear. That was too big and fierce for a Koala bear. I'm pretty sure it WAS a Koala bear, said Baby Bear, walking over to the family library, and pulling down the bear history book.

Sure enough! Under the heading, KOALA BEAR it read. .......eats, shoots, and leaves.

After 30 years of marriage Jane as all women do started nagging to John her husband that he does not love her anymore and told him John why don't you go to get some advice from our friend the Bishop so you will love me more. Well John thought if I go to the Bishop I will drink some of his good wine and went.

When he came back he saw his wife at door, then he went up to her and lifted her and carried her from one room to other. She was really pleased with this gesture and asked What did Bishop tell you.

Well he told me go and carry your Cross and wonder who is my cross?