Best Jokes

Alfie had been listening to his sister practicing her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas Carols."

"That’s nice of you, Alfie," she said. "Why?"

"Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"

Q:What goes up but never comes down?
A:Your age.

Q. Why are pancakes like a baseball game?
A. Because they depend on the batter.

A woman went to her dentist to have her dentures adjusted for the fifth time. She said they still didn’t fit. “Well,” said the dentist, “I’ll do it again this time, but no more. There’s no reason why these shouldn’t fit your mouth easily.”

“Who said anything about my mouth?” the woman answered. “They don’t fit in the glass!”