Best Jokes

Guy: Excuse me, is your name Gillette?
Girl: No, Why?
Guy: Because you're the best a man can get!

Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university. She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.

“Guilty or not guilty of begging?’ asked the magistrate.
“Nearly guilty,” said the beggar.
“What do you mean, ‘nearly’ guilty? Asked the puzzled magistrate.
“Well, your honor, I asked the lady for twenty-five cents but I didn’t get it.”

The after dinner speaker was droning on and on and on, bring everyone to tears. One of the guests, fighting to keep his drooping eyelids open, turned to the lady on his right and said, “Can nothing be done to shut him up?”
“If there is I’d like to know,” said the lady, “—I’m his wife and I’ve been trying to shut him up for thirty years!”