Best Jokes

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail...

I sent it right back, way too expensive and really bad quality.

Did you hear about the absent-minded nurse that made the patient without disturbing the bed?

A local priest was visiting a widow for Sunday dinner. Afterwards, she was doing the dishes and he was looking around and noticed a parrot in a cage.

The lady noticed and said, "Reach into the cage, father, and pull his left leg." Well, he did and the parrot recited the Our Father.

"Pull his right leg," she said. He did and the parrot recited the Hail Mary. Well, the priest thought this was amazing. Then he said out loud, "I wonder what would happen if I pulled both legs and the same time?"

The parrot said, "What do you think will happen, I'll fall flat on my butt!"

The Sheriff's girl friend constantly asked the Sheriff to get married.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the bank robbers.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the rustlers.

Girl: Please, let's get married?
Sheriff: I can't I have to go catch those who held up the train.

Moral of the story: Some men would rather fight outlaws than in-laws!