Best Jokes

I just stepped on a Cornflake...

Now I am officially a cereal killer.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the laundromat?

He woke up an hour ago.

After resisting the advance of technology for many years I finally gave in and bought a cell phone. A few days later I called my wife and told her someone kept texting me but when I checked I didn't have a text message.

My wife asked who it said was sending a text. I told her I wasn't sure about the name but I thought it was a lady named Betty Low.

After a short pause my wife responded with, "I think you mean 'Battery Low'."