Best Jokes

Two men (a Russian and an American) were talking about their countries' accomplishments.

The Russian says, "We were the first to go into Space."

The American replies, "Well, we were the first to land on the moon."

Sick of their arrogance, another man comes over and says, "Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna be the first one on the Sun!"

The Russian and American both laugh saying, "You can't go to the Sun. It's too hot. You'll burn up"

The man confidently replies, "I'm not an idiot. I'll just go at night!"

Every time you clean something...

You're just make something else dirty!

"King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," said little Brodie to his mother one Sunday, after church.

"Why not, son?"

"I learned today that he killed the Jolly Green Giant."

Two bumblebees were talking one day. "I'm sort of depressed" says one of the bees.

"Why...what's the problem?" asks the second bee.

"My doctor says I'm losing my buzz," says the first bee.

To which the second bee replies, "Sorry to hear that, man, that stings!"