Best Jokes

Did you hear about the young lady who was addicted to line dancing?

They put her in a two step program.

Nurse: Your blood pressure is amazingly high. Is your job very stressful?

Patient: Well, I work at a petting zoo.

Nurse: That seems easy enough.

Patient: I determine which animals are too vicious to be petted.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Q: What part of a car is the laziest?

A: The Wheels, they are always tire'd.