Best Jokes

I went to a speciality shop to buy a bra for my wife
The clerk said he needed to know something about her before making a suggestion for instance: We have a Presbyterian bra that is firm and supportive. We have the Salvation Army bra that is warm and uplifting.
The clerk asked me do you understand? I said yes she is Jewish, small busted and always finding fault with me.

You need the Jewish bra. It makes mountains out of mole hills

I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards".
I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.

Why worry, there only two things to worry about.
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick then there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well then there is nothing to worry about.
If you die then there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven then there is nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell you will be so damn busy shaking hands with your friends that you wont have time to worry.

Bobby: My big brother got a six week coffee break.

Billy: How does that work?

Bobby: He tripped over a fifty pound bag off coffee at work and broke his arm.