Best Jokes

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

The 50-50-90 rule:

If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right...

There’s a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak.

The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure."

"You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "please continue."

"Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"