Best Jokes

Alex to his friend Francis: “Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, and I asked her, 'What gift would you like to have?'”

Francis : “What did she say?"

Alex: "She said, 'Give me anything which has diamonds in it.'”

Francis: “So what did you give her?”

Alex: “A deck of playing cards.”

The River Ravi flows in which state?

A liquid one.

What did Santa say when Mrs. Claus asked what the weather was going to be like on Christmas Day?

He said, "Rain, Dear."

I got into an argument with this thug in a pub. I backed away, but as I was leaving he shouted, “I know where you live!”

I was really worried for a while, but it turned out he works for Royal Mail Parcelforce, so his threat almost certainly isn’t true.