Best Jokes

If memory serves me right...

Well, it would be the first time.

An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old!"

The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said.

The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."

My wife found a twenty in my pants pocket after she washed and dried them.

I had to turn her in to the authorities....

For money laundering.

A young boy asks his dad, “What is the difference between confident and confidential?”

The dad replies, “You are my son, I’m confident about that. But see your friend over there? He is also my son. That’s confidential.”