Best Jokes

A man parks his bicycle nearby the Parliament house and walks on.

A police constable stops him and asks, "Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know it is a VIP road and all parliamentarians and senators pass from here?"

Man replied, "Don't you worry about it, I locked my bicycle!"

A husband came home from work one evening and walked into the kitchen where his wife was cooking dinner. He looked into the pots on the stove and smelled their content.

"Is the Preacher coming for dinner," he asked.

"No, he isn't," his wife replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, you've prepared a burnt offering. I just assumed something religious was going on."

A bear walks into a restaurant and says, "I want a grilled............... cheese please."

The waiter asks, "What's with the pause?"

The bear replies. "What do you mean, I'm a bear aren't I?

A woman notices her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “You know, that’s not going to help,” she says.

“Sure it does,” he answers. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”