Best Jokes

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8. "But I already paid you. Don't you remember? Says the customer. "OK," says the bartender, "If you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt. The barkeep replies, "OK, If you say you paid, than I suppose you did."

The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs. The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the face"

The man interrupts, "Don't bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my bill and ill be on my way."

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posted by "Odalys Macias" |
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What is the favorite pastime for Retired Lawyers?

Ambulance chasing!

----- Old Habits Die Hard-----

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CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Richard Rokita" |
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3 boys are fishing on a river and a man comes floating by screaming help. The 3 boys grab the man and they realize it is Justin Bieber! Justin said thank you and he wanted to give each boy a gift, anything they wanted.

The first boy said, I haven't been to Disney World. Justin gave him and his family an all expense paid trip to Florida.

The second boy said, that he loves fishing but his dad works to much. Justin bought him and his dad an all expense paid trip to Alaska.

The third boy said what about a motorized wheel chair, with a tv and an Xbox attached, and it dispenses candy. Justin said yes, and that was great that he was giving away his gift. He asked who would be getting this gift? It's for me he replied. To that Justin replied, you can walk just fine though.

I will need that wheel chair after my dad finds out I pulled you out of the river.

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CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Reed Scow" |
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The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.

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CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Don Dante" |