Best Jokes

A guy went to court for a seat belt ticket...

It was an open-and-shut case.

Part of getting old is that your mind thinks that your body can do things that is can’t…

Or, is it the other way around…

I forget???

Patty, the bank teller, was having a bad day with nasty and rude customers. A nicely dressed young man came up to her window and with a smile showed her a note. "Please give me all your money... I thank you for your time and help!"

After emptying her drawer into a bag, she added a chocolate bar left from her lunch.

"What's that for?" he asked.

"That's because you were the most polite person I've had all day," she answered.

Little Johnny: "Mommy! Mommy! I keep running around in circles!"

Mommy: "Be quiet or I'll super glue your other shoe to the floor too!"