Best Jokes

Patient: Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.

Doctor: Are you taking anything for it?

Patient: Black pepper.

Wife: Honey I lost 5 pounds!

Husband: AT LAST... you washed off your makeup!

Yo mamas so fat I took a pic of her last year at Christmas, and it's still printing out.

Do you know the song "Yesterday"? Then sing along to this computer version.

Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me. The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong. What it was I could not say.

Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay, now I believe in yesterday.