Best Jokes

I used to work in the woods as a lumberjack...

But just couldn't hack it...

So they gave me the ax!

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in...

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIFE DOESN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...

10. A car wash kit
9. A table saw
8. Two all-day passes to Best Buy's Home Theatre Installation Seminar
7. A case of oil
6. Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated

5. Custom engraved bowling ball
4. New outboard motor for fishing boat
3. Rambo Trilogy on DVD
2. New satellite dish with sports package
1. Three-year membership to Weight Watchers Clinic

Three irishmen walk out of the bar at the same time...

Well, it is possible in theory!