Best Jokes

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I don't recognize this court!"

"Any why not?" asked the Judge, sternly.

"Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."

The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for the news: "We had twins!"

The family was so excited they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?"

The father paused, smiled, and said, "Each other!"

Whichever traffic lane you change to will always move slower than the one you left...

This also applies to the lines you stand in as well.

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?"

"It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said the tourist, "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."