Best Jokes

These two guys out hunting find a hole in the woods that's about three feet across, but it's so deep that when they drop a rock, they hear no sound. So they drop a bigger rock, but they still hear nothing.

So they go looking for something larger, and they find a railroad tie, haul it over to the hole, and heave it in. It also disappears without a sound.

Suddenly a goat comes running up at about sixty miles an hour and dives headfirst into the hole. And there's still no sound. Nothing.

Suddenly a farmer appears from the woods and says, "HEY! You fellas seen my goat around here?"

And they say, "Well, there was a goat just ran by here real fast and dove into this hole here."

"Naw," says the farmer, "that couldn't be my goat. My goat was tied up to a railroad tie."

One day a man walked into a barbershop wearing headphones. ”Give me a trim,” he said to the barber, “but don’t take off my headphones off or I’ll die.”

As the barber began to cut the man’s hair, he realized the headphones were in the way and took them off. A few moments later, the man slumped to the floor dead.

Picking up the headphones, the barber put them to his ear and heard a voice saying, “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...”

Did you hear about the turtle being shot at in the army?

He was SHELL shocked!

A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers.

Rumor had it that the new company would be called . . . Fairwell Honeychild!