Best Jokes

"You ought to be ashamed," the father told his lazy son. "When George Washington was your age, he had become a surveyor and a hard worker."

"And when he was your age," the boy replied, "he was President of the United States!"

After Pablo and Marta got into an argument, she left for her mother’s home. Pablo called her mother’s home after a few days but his mother-in-law said that Marta was in no mood to talk to him.

A few more days went by and Pablo called again only to be greeted by the same reply.
He called again after a couple of days and the mother-in-law said to him, “Why do you keep calling when you know the answer?”

Pablo replied, “Because I love to hear it again and again. It’s music to my ears.”

"Don't give up on your dreams."

"Really? You mean it?"

"Yeah, just keep sleeping."

George, who had a wife and 8 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 8 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he didn't believe in lying.

So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 7 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right. The agent asked, "How many children do you have?"

He answered, "Eight."

The agent asked, "Where are the others?"

George, looked the agent right in the eye, and answered, "They're at the cemetery with their mother."