Best Jokes

Whichever traffic lane you change to will always move slower than the one you left...

This also applies to the lines you stand in as well.

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?"

"It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said the tourist, "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

My friend told me I needed to get in shape.

I told him, "Round is a shape."

What goes "oooooooooooooooo!!!"?

A cow with no lips.