Best Jokes

There are three ways a man wears his hair...

Parted, Un-parted, or Departed!

Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months! "TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender. "That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
"Oh yeah?" says one drunk. "The box said 2-4 YEARS!"

Why did the diet coach send her new client to the paint store?

She knew you could get thinner there!

CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space
COMPUTER: A device designed to speed and automate errors
COMPUTER CLUB: Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages

CONSOLE: What one does to a "down" computer
CURSOR: An expert in 4-letter words
DUMP: A system programmer's work area

FEATURE: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative
KEYBOARD: An instrument used for entering errors into a system
LANGUAGE: A system of organizing and defining error messages
PASSWORD: The nonsense word taped to your terminal