Best Jokes

Q. Why are pancakes like a baseball game?
A. Because they depend on the batter.

A woman went to her dentist to have her dentures adjusted for the fifth time. She said they still didn’t fit. “Well,” said the dentist, “I’ll do it again this time, but no more. There’s no reason why these shouldn’t fit your mouth easily.”

“Who said anything about my mouth?” the woman answered. “They don’t fit in the glass!”

A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom – his hands were dirty.
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”

Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”

Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. One said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.”

“Wow!’ said the other. “How did you manage that?”

“It’s easy, my last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.’”