A preacher was completing a temperance sermon and with great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, " And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He then sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."
What did the Beaver say to the tree?
Nice Gnawin ya!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Q: Why did the man take toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he was a party pooper.